Attaboy, Luther!

One great thing about blogging is that the line becomes finer between "This is a really creepy scene, GET ME OUT OF HERE..." and "Ooh, I am SO blogging this!"  

 

I spent most of Sunday in the emergency room at a hospital in New Hampshire, where I was staying with my brother for the holiday weekend...I woke up Sunday morning with some bizarre allergic reaction...mysterious red hives and blotches all over my face, arms and neck and two swollen eyes. I found Robert and my brother Dave and croaked "I think I have to go to the doctor."

 

That wasn't the fun part, of course. Off we went to the ER, and after a preliminary consultation with a nurse and then registering, I went back to the waiting room. Aside from Dave and Robert, there was no one else in there except a wiry man in a leather jacket, his long, gray hair drooping over his face as he slumped forward in his wheel chair, fast asleep. Nice and quiet.

 

We were soon joined by a young blonde girl in a soccer uniform with her arm in sling and her hand wrapped in ice, anywhere between 11 and 13 (I can never tell these days), sobbing uncontrollably as she was led into the room by a man and woman whispering soothing words and handing her tissues, which made her cry even harder because she said she couldn't use her arm to blow her nose. Awwww...so heartbreaking! Robert, Dave and I exchanged sad looks and shook our heads. We eavesdropped as the man and woman discussed the events that had led up to the injury, talking about "playing dirty" and hard shoving, stomping, and god knows what other illegal moves, speculating if that other team was actually taught do do those overly aggressive things by their coaches. We all shook our heads again. Occasionally the little girl would interject with "I'm SCARED about my ARM! What's going to happen? I'm SCARED! (sob, sob, sob)" and we would all feel even more terrible. Waaah!!!

 

Another wheelchair was rolled into the waiting room by a nurse, holding a dark haired middle aged woman with her foot in a cast. She peered over at the other guy slumped over in the wheelchair and rolled herself closer to him. I wasn't going to assume that all people in wheelchairs know each other or anything, but she did seem to know this guy because she nudged him a little to see how deep in sleep he was. He didn't respond. She gazed sympathetically at the couple with the soccer girl, saying she hoped someone saw her soon because she looked like she was in a lot of pain, and that it had taken forever for someone to see her about her fractured foot which she had hurt the day before while moving. The couple explained to her that the little girl's team had been playing a tough Canadian team and something bad had gone down. They all nodded, as if of course, everyone knew that about the Canadians. (I giggled, thinking of all the Canadians I know/have known and how unnaturally nice most have them have actually been.)

 

The guy in the wheelchair woke up with a violent start. "WHERE the hell am I?!" he sputtered, flailing his arms in confusion. "I'm still here?! What the fuck is going on?!"

 

"You fell asleep," the woman in the wheelchair answered casually.

 

"Wha...?" Wheelchair Guy gasped, still perplexed.

 

"You fell asleep." Wheelchair Woman repeated calmly.

 

"I haven't seen anyone yet? I have broken ribs, man!" Wheelchair Guy grumbled.

 

"Well, you have to wait." replied Wheelchair Woman patiently, as if she was used to this sort of exchange.

 

"I've been here three hours, man." grumbled Wheelchair Guy. "Hey, what the FUCK happened to your foot?!"

 

"Don't use that language." admonished Wheelchair Woman.

 

Wheelchair Guy turned to the little girl in the soccer uniform, who was now staring at him wide-eyed and open mouthed and had actually stopped crying in her shock. "I'm sorry dear," he said. "I do apologize for my language."

 

Soccer Girl actually smiled for the first time. "That's ok!" she half-chirped, half-giggled. You could tell she was actually perking up and enjoying the show. The older couple however, were not amused and quickly whispered something to each other before whisking her out of the room, presumably to find a different waiting area.

 

It was like Sports Day at the ER or something. We saw another little kid in a soccer uniform in a wheelchair rolling by, then a petite woman showed up with a hulking man in a softball uniform. Despite his massive size, his demeanor seemed more like a lost 10-year old boy. "He was playing softball and was having trouble breathing." his female companion explained efficiently. The man said nothing, just looked helplessly at his feet and let his female friend do all the talking for him. I wondered for a minute if someone was going to offer him a lollipop.

 

Meanwhile, the Wheelchair Couple were still providing lots of entertainment.

 

"I've been here for an hour, man!" Wheelchair Guy complained.

 

"You've been here for three hours." Wheelchair Woman corrected him calmly.

 

"I've been here for three hours, man! I have broken ribs, man! You got something for your foot, I want painkillers for my fucking ribs man!"

 

"You will have to behave yourself if you want someone to see you. You have to wait."

 

"I've been here for an hour!"

 

"Three hours."

 

"I have broken ribs, man!"

 

"I know."

 

"I was going to get into a fight with the black dude out there (giant hospital security guard, not to be messed with). He looked at me and I asked what he was staring at and I told him I didn't mind going to jail today."

 

"You have to behave."

 

"And I told that [racial epithet], I didn't mind going to jail today and I was ready to fight him...I have broken ribs, man!"

 

"You've got to behave."

 

"Yeah, I told that [racial epithet]..."

 

"Stop saying that word!"

 

"Ya wanna go get a cigarette?"

 

Worldlessly, they both got out of their wheelchairs and staggered away, him clutching his ribs and her dragging her cast foot behind her.

 

You've got to love the ER...to those people who work there every day, I salute you.